Old Fences

    "Look over there. That's Danny Dozier. That man ain't been right in the head since Jeannie died four years ago."

     "Damn, Judy. He still look fine though."

     "It's them jeans, Karla. Every man looks good in Wranglers and boots. Who's he think he is with that long hair?"

        "Member back in the day when he always wore his hair long?"

        "Hmph. Just trying to look younger than he is."

        "Well, you might not like it, but it's working for me. You just mad because of that one night you were trying to flirt with him, and he left with Jeanne."

        "Damn it, Karla! Why you gotta go bringing that up? It happened almost fifty damn years ago. Besides, I just have never cared much for him. Too damn, opinionated for one thing."

          "Hell, I remember when all you did was talk about him!"

           "Well, Penny Kayser, I don't remember inviting you into this discussion. This here's between me and Karla. She's been telling everyone for years that the only reason I don't like him now is that he jilted me at the homecoming dance and took off with that mousy little Jeanne."

              "Saw it with my own eyes!"

            "If you don't mind, I like to add my two bits to this story."

             "You know your contributions are always welcome, Deena. Hell, God knows that you are the only one of these girls who actually makes some sense."

             "F**k you, Judy!"

             "Yeah, f**k you. There ain't never  nothing ever come out your mouth but gossip and innuendo."

           "All I want to say is that I warned you not to make friends with him. Once a boy regards you as a friend that's all he'll ever see you as."

             "I lived next door to him for eighteen years. It's kind of hard not to become friends with your neighbor. Besides, what you said ain't necessarily true. Bernard has been my best friend ever since we married."

              "Ugh! Like making love to your brother."

           "Ain't that the truth. I bet ol Bernie is as reliable in that regard as one of them oil rigs on the road to Bakersfield, up down, up down, up down." 

            "Shush now! You shut your mouth. How we been friends all these years is beyond me. You only say that because it's your own failure of imagination how doesn't allow you to supply the twist and turns that'd turn your own husbands into world class bull riders."

          "That's cause we're still ladies, Judy, unlike some women I could name."

               "You're lucky I don't slap your face Karla. If it wasn't for the fact that you've been my best friend since we were in kindergarten, and that I know you're lying about being a lady, I'd still might."

           "Or maybe the fact that I'm at the other end of the table and you'd have to get your fat ass up to do it."

            "You guys quit your bickering! Danny's coming this way!"

           "Well, hello ladies, Judy. I was sitting over there talking with Slim and I couldn't help noticing that you were looking over at us and smiling. So, I thought, well, hell, I could use something to smile about, so I came over to see if you would share a smile with me."

           "Well, me and Penny were just remarking about nice your butt looks in them Wranglers. Just like the old days."

            "That's right, we were saying that maybe we needed to do  your workout for ourselves."

            "Well, I do believe you ladies done made me blush. How bout you, Judy, you don't think my butt still looks good?"

              "Well, it ain't your derriere that matters now is it? You always did have a too high opinion of yourself Danny, and you know it. I was telling that it was wonder to me, how your head could still fit into that hat. It's only holds ten gallons, don't it?"

         "There's my smile; now that's the Judy Villa that I remember. I was talking about you with my dad about you just the other day." 

                "Me? Now, that presents a conundrum; what could you and JT possibly have to say about me?"

                 "We were tearing down his back fence and replacing it. We got back to the part that was in the back corner, remember the place that was just behind your window. My dad told me, 'I don't know why, but I never could keep them three boards right there in place. I was always nailing them sumbitches back up, but I'd come out the next morning, and they'd still be hanging there loose. Made me think of you for some damned reason."

                 "I don't know why that'd cause you to think about lil ol me."

                 "There's a mystery involved. One night I remember coming home late one night and them three boards were glued in place. I remember being puzzled by it, cause they was always hangin loose. I noticed that Blaine's Robert's truck was parked in front of your house that night. I've always wondered if he had something to do with it."

                "Well, maybe my daddy didn't like the ascetic of them loose boards no more than your daddy did."

                 "Shit, you know better, that whole damn fence coulda fell down without Gus ever noticing. Well, look at that. It's already one o'clock. I have to run. You ladies have a good day. I'd tip my hat, but I'm afraid I couldn't get back on this big old head of mine."

                 "Well, I hate to see him leave, but he sure looks good walking away."

                  "I was just about to say..."

                 "SSH! If you two, old biddies say another f**king word, I'll stab you with this here fork!"